Saturday, February 18, 2006

sometimes.. i just dont know..

here i am once again. i'm thinking and keep thinking, whether what i am doing now is really good for me. whether my job really fits me. am i happy? really happy?

//somehow, i'm wondering why do i have to think on this matter so seriously. why dont just follow the flow?

few friends who understand the nature of my jobs did reminded me:

"u don't want to be a basis (technical) consultant forever. this job does not really fit a lady especially if one day u want to manage your family. better think of going for your master. since now u have the experience on how a data center/it team should work. get a management jobs." the dialog goes on and on. (i keep thinking, whats right for me).

"these actually doesnt really fits us. but if u want to continue doing SAP, maybe in functional area, better think of it seriously. since u are young u can learn thing easily, u know. before its too late." (i keep thinking, whats right for me).

to give up the job, it ain't easy. to go on, yeah, maybe, i stumbled and keep stumbling get what it takes to be good basis. still undergoing the learning curves. but for how long will i be doing this works. all these shifts works. while single maybe ok even i hate doing shift very much. i am not really a wake-up-all-nite type. i treasure my rest and sleep hours. what i am concern, if i cant do this job later (how much 'later'?), what will i do. full-time home-keeper? yea, kinda good too.

in fact, the main thing is, what i WANT to do? for real? i am still blur. not so sure. ppl around me seems happy with my job now. SEEMS happy. but, thats them. me? dunno. duh, keep thinking shuhadah, its good for you, babe.

i HAT3 shift work damn much, but i got no choic3.

speaking about choice, hurmm. few said, i got no choice. just do the work. what???? simply no choice? who are u to say that, while waking up everyday i am thinking of choices that i have in life? so much of choices. its just that, i really cant make up my mind. if i cant, who else knows whats best for me. i leave all to Allah. may He guide me all through the way. may my family always stand by me.

tomorrow nite, i'll start my nite shift..
as nikki said, 'good luck'..
phewhhhh..

3 comments:

dania said...

dude..
still tak paham ko koje ape skang ni..consultant ker? i tot ko jadik arkitek.hehehee br nak suh ko desain umah aku mcm casa impian.

shu said...

adeih.. bila la plk aku jadi arkitek.. ayah aku ye la..

aku jadi system consultant (IT)..

Dila said...

I work shift. Paham la jugak.

Leceh. But in term of family tak apply jugak. Tu kate2 org laki je yg nak bini die masak nasik bile die dh balik umah. Hahaha.

But also job satisfaction.

But they pay must be gud kan shu.. so blanje@!