what is happening?
not sure what went wrong. where it went wrong. even why is it so wrong. BUT am feeling a lil bit LOST these few days. since i got no one or no where suitable for me to burst things out at this moment, i guess, my blog become the VICTIM ~ and whoever reading this entry also has just make yourself victim of mine, thanks.
i think most of all, thing that make me a bit of erm.. not sure whether to say 'upset' or 'lost'.. is my job. why do i always feel this way? maybe me myself is always think negatively on my job. dont ask me why i still stick to it after two years plus, i have no answer. i keep complaining from time to time about work (mostly in this poor blog, to my parents, sister and close friends; sorry), sometimes i just console myself and keep thinking that things gonna get better. erm, doesnt seems to. same feeling keep coming. thinking of going to work everyday is not putting a smile to my face, put aside to my heart. but i still go to work everyday. ppl say, choose a job that u like and enjoy. cannot think of any ~ sigh. life aint easy, esp when i am making it more difficult. duh. now, put yourself together, shu.
other matter ~ i have been waiting for so long. waiting is not really a nature of mine. i hate waiting. esp when i feel like i am waiting for almost ~ nothing. again, i have been waiting for more than 2 yrs. demmit. making a fool of myself. - no one might understand this.. no matter. no matter.
maybe its time for me to sit down and really think of what i want in life. all this while, i can say that i just live thru whatever pass by from time to time without really have any specific plan in mind. not like some of my friends where they have certain targets ~ what they wanna do, by when they must be able to achieve it and so on. perhaps those targets driven them to work hard and stay focus.
am getting blur and blank. rather get back to my story book. tonight need to work ~ sigh.